Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Our New Journey

This blog started out as a way to easily update family and friends on Maddy's progress through her treatments, but over  time, it became much more- it became our way to share Maddy's life journey.  Now, we have embarked on a new journey.  One that is more difficult to share at this time, but one that will hopefully result in us keeping our promise to Maddy to continue what she started...

As Maddy's journey here on earth ended, our family's new journey without Maddy began.  The beginning of this journey is proving to be more difficult than I could have ever imagined.   "They" say there are different stages of grief- denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance...  You would think that one could move through these stages sequentially and then the grief would be over.  I wish this were the case.

There are days that I have experienced all the stages within the span of a few hours.  While each  day brings new and different challenges, I have found there is one constant-  the pain in my chest and stomach as if a part of me has been ripped out.

Our family also doesn't seem whole anymore.  The three of us sit in the living room watching TV in an awkward silence.  We go for a ride in the car in silence.  A part of our family is missing and we still haven't figured out how to function yet.

Everywhere I look at home and at school, I am reminded of Maddy.  One moment, this is comforting and the next it is heartbreaking.  It takes all my energy just to get through a day.

And so I am reminded-

Hope, faith and courage are the things you need to fight.  To stay brave and stay strong, these are what I keep in my heart and mind!

13 comments:

  1. Oh Dorthy... no words... just forever in my prayers;)!!

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  2. You and your family continue to be in our prayers. I just can't imagine the pain and sorrow you must feel. Continue to hold on to the Hope we have in Jesus, that you will be reunited with Maddy again someday!
    Sarah Nafziger

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  3. Continuing to pray for you, Russ and Julia. I ache for you.

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  4. We think of Maddy constantly but especially today as we traveled to the clinic for Addi's monthly visit. It went unsaid of how much love they all have for the "Lamberts " Just know you are forever in our prayers.
    Sharon Lutz

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  5. You guys are in my heart!! And god is with you helping you along!! Keep your eyes on him! My heart goes out to you!
    -Mondesi Walters

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  6. It's Angelina Schilt here. I wanted to let you all know my prayers for your family have not stopped since I met you at the Sept. CureSearch walk. The type of prayer, hope, thanksgiving, and request changed for the need of the moment. With each passing positive word, no word at all, and of course the negative word(s) I was hoping not to read, the prayers would change along with them. That hasn't changed since giving the shoes to Maddie in November to attending her Celebration of Life and over the last couple of weeks. The entire Lambert Clan and all those touched by your family have always been on my mind and in my prayers. That is one thing that won't change from here on out either. I will continue to check here, hoping it's updated often. It's a good way to keep us prayer warriors going. for you all!

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  7. Praying for you!! Hugs to you! Stay strong, one day at a time and know you are loved by many!

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  8. My heart aches for all of you. I continue to pray for you emotionally and spiritually. I have never known the intense pain of losing my child as you have. Grief is not predictable and it is exhausting I will not stop praying.
    May God hold you in His arms and comfort all of you.
    Peggy

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  9. Praying always for your family --God be with you and hold you close.

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  10. We continue to pray without ceasing.

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  11. 2 Corinthians 4:17-18

    For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fa8w7mGug0c&feature=endscreen&NR=1

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  12. I can so imagine how weird and unreal it must feel for a quarter of the family to be missing. It is just not right, and I so wish that Maddy were still with you.
    I think of Maddy a lot. Even though I never met her, she did make an impression on me. You all did.
    Hugs from me and Pete,
    Bridget

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  13. I think of you often and pray that you are finding comfort in knowing that Maddy is no longer suffering. We know that she is in heaven watching over all of you. You are amazing parents and did everything within your power to help her.
    Love to all of you,
    Bob and Julie

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